Cornell.....
Well, being in Cornell for over a semester is time enough to realize that this school, (presumably unlike most other schools), is a sanctuary of the most random and crazy people....To elucidate,
1. It's -20 F. I am freezing my ass out in spite of the down jacket, the double layered thermal wear, jeans, T shirt, sweater and wollen socks, gloves and a wollen cap. I shiver and tremble as I keep step after step on feet deep snow and walk grudgingly towards the bus stand....And through the misty night, I squint my eyes as I hear some noise...more like horses trotting...I squinted more, and suddenly the most random guys with a short and a sweat, run past me in jogging shoes on the snow....I mean, where they on their way to stupid town? Or perhaps jogging in the snow makes you more athletic?
2. Caleb: I am alcoholic
Me: really?
Caleb: I drink almost everyday
Me: that doesnt make you alcoholic
Caleb: I woke up with a pot-smoke covered face and random alcohol bottles in the toilet last saturday
Me:hmm
Caleb: Gawd! Dont you understand? I had my liver checked ...It's completely dysfunctional
3. Jay: I just shocked the shit out of my labmates
Me: What did u do?
Jay: I told them about my fuckbuddy
Me: What??!! LOL...I could have done that too
Jay: well there was an awkward silence that followed
Me:what did u do then?
Jay: I told them : "my fuckbuddy is hot!"
Me: LOL, if you had made the scene more awkward, I owe you a dollar..
Jay: I did
Me: ha ha...dont kid me
Jay: I told them: "He has got a huge dick!"
(Awkward silence ensues....)
Me: Ok...I owe you a dollar....
4.Crazy guy with a pony and smoking , and body piercings all over on ho plaza: " Hey there!"
Me: uh? Hallo
Crazy guy: I just wanted to tell you, your eyes are beautiful are you indian?
Me (awkwardly): well, ...yeah
Crazy guy: OH MY GOD..I love the mascara...you got to tell me how you wear it...
Me: ...Look, firstly I dont fancy being stopped in the shitty cold
Secondly, I am not a metro
thirdly, I DO NOT wear mascara....
5. My cell bio professor on his lecture on actin,
"Actin has multiple functions. It's found on the cell cortex..blah..blah..blah...It is even released by the acrosome in the sperm during fertilization. So when the sperm encounters the egg, its acrosome disintegrates releasing various enzymes...ah look at that picture, there...you see actin forming, the egg wall being penetrated, and isn't it lovely, that is exactly how the sperm screws the egg...."
5. My friend Jason,
"Oh i love the application of physics to life...Today we did electrostatics, and isnt it amazing, how so much of it can be applied to day to day life?"
Me: yeah yeah
Jason: no seriously, Like imagine,,,guys to be protons, and we are all in the gym, then what do you do in the shower? You try to get away as far away as possible from the pther guys...Like protons repelling
Me:Dude, you just dont wanna be with nude guys...it's awkward
Jason: Exactly, protons are like nude guys...
6. And lastly, some of its craziness rubbed on me too...
I was completely drunk once in a club,
and ..
Me (to random girl): Hi
Girl: Hey there!
Me: you loook reallly keyoote...Are youi from here?
girl: Why, thank you! Yes i go to cornell..
Me:Can I fertilize your eggs later tonight?
Well, being in Cornell for over a semester is time enough to realize that this school, (presumably unlike most other schools), is a sanctuary of the most random and crazy people....To elucidate,
1. It's -20 F. I am freezing my ass out in spite of the down jacket, the double layered thermal wear, jeans, T shirt, sweater and wollen socks, gloves and a wollen cap. I shiver and tremble as I keep step after step on feet deep snow and walk grudgingly towards the bus stand....And through the misty night, I squint my eyes as I hear some noise...more like horses trotting...I squinted more, and suddenly the most random guys with a short and a sweat, run past me in jogging shoes on the snow....I mean, where they on their way to stupid town? Or perhaps jogging in the snow makes you more athletic?
2. Caleb: I am alcoholic
Me: really?
Caleb: I drink almost everyday
Me: that doesnt make you alcoholic
Caleb: I woke up with a pot-smoke covered face and random alcohol bottles in the toilet last saturday
Me:hmm
Caleb: Gawd! Dont you understand? I had my liver checked ...It's completely dysfunctional
3. Jay: I just shocked the shit out of my labmates
Me: What did u do?
Jay: I told them about my fuckbuddy
Me: What??!! LOL...I could have done that too
Jay: well there was an awkward silence that followed
Me:what did u do then?
Jay: I told them : "my fuckbuddy is hot!"
Me: LOL, if you had made the scene more awkward, I owe you a dollar..
Jay: I did
Me: ha ha...dont kid me
Jay: I told them: "He has got a huge dick!"
(Awkward silence ensues....)
Me: Ok...I owe you a dollar....
4.Crazy guy with a pony and smoking , and body piercings all over on ho plaza: " Hey there!"
Me: uh? Hallo
Crazy guy: I just wanted to tell you, your eyes are beautiful are you indian?
Me (awkwardly): well, ...yeah
Crazy guy: OH MY GOD..I love the mascara...you got to tell me how you wear it...
Me: ...Look, firstly I dont fancy being stopped in the shitty cold
Secondly, I am not a metro
thirdly, I DO NOT wear mascara....
5. My cell bio professor on his lecture on actin,
"Actin has multiple functions. It's found on the cell cortex..blah..blah..blah...It is even released by the acrosome in the sperm during fertilization. So when the sperm encounters the egg, its acrosome disintegrates releasing various enzymes...ah look at that picture, there...you see actin forming, the egg wall being penetrated, and isn't it lovely, that is exactly how the sperm screws the egg...."
5. My friend Jason,
"Oh i love the application of physics to life...Today we did electrostatics, and isnt it amazing, how so much of it can be applied to day to day life?"
Me: yeah yeah
Jason: no seriously, Like imagine,,,guys to be protons, and we are all in the gym, then what do you do in the shower? You try to get away as far away as possible from the pther guys...Like protons repelling
Me:Dude, you just dont wanna be with nude guys...it's awkward
Jason: Exactly, protons are like nude guys...
6. And lastly, some of its craziness rubbed on me too...
I was completely drunk once in a club,
and ..
Me (to random girl): Hi
Girl: Hey there!
Me: you loook reallly keyoote...Are youi from here?
girl: Why, thank you! Yes i go to cornell..
Me:Can I fertilize your eggs later tonight?
3 Comments:
At 9:45 PM , Zennmaster said...
by far the best pickup line i have heard all year long... =p
At 6:48 PM , Anonymous said...
wat the heck!!! show ur teue self! :P
At 12:29 PM , EP/ UK said...
lol max da :D
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